


A Messiah or a Martyr

by punkfistfights



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Child Death, F/F, Implied Child Abuse, Original Statement (The Magnus Archives), Statement Fic (The Magnus Archives), Suicide, mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24584917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkfistfights/pseuds/punkfistfights
Summary: Case 0062211 - Agnes Montague. Statement given the 22nd of November 2006. Committed to tape 26th of November 2006. Gertrude Robinson recording.
Relationships: Agnes Montague/Gertrude Robinson
Kudos: 11





	A Messiah or a Martyr

**Author's Note:**

> i find it disquieting and tragic that agnes never got to share her own story and wanted to try and give her that chance, if only in my fic. i am a little drunk as i write this so idk if it’s actually any good, but i am rather proud of it.

**Gertrude**

_(She sounds shaken)_ Case 0062211 - Agnes Montague. Statement given the 22nd of November 2006. Committed to tape 1st of December 2006. Gertrude Robinson recording. 

**Gertrude (Statement)**

You know, Gertrude, as long as I’ve known about you, I’ve had to resist the urge to give you my statement. I felt like you already owned too much of me but paradoxically wanted you to have even more. We’ve never actually met and yet I can’t think of a day that’s gone by that I haven’t thought of you. 

I’m sure you Know my story by now and don’t need me to confirm it for you. But, actually, I don’t think this is for you. This is for me. Everyone else will get to tell you my Story, but they will twist the Narrative. They will tell you their side of my story. It’s all nonsense and I deserve and retain the right to tell the truth first 

My mother, Eileen Montague, was not an Avatar of the Lightless Flame, but instead a devotee. She was devoted in a way I will never forgive—of course, I die tomorrow, so what does it matter that I refuse to forgive her? This will all be over soon. Still, she got pregnant and decided to give her child to her God. She was going to suffer for seconds as she died. I was to suffer for a lifetime. 

In the eyes of the followers of the Desolation, I am a Goddess in my own right. They have nurtured and worshipped me my whole life and expected for me to stand tall and wreak havoc on the world in turn. That is not who I want to be, that is never who I wanted to be. 

They would say I was a taciturn child and an often angry one at that. They would not be wrong. If they were right and I am a Goddess, if I am the Lightless Flame born in the form of a woman, then of course it makes sense that I was prone to fits of rageful destruction. What else could be expected? But the truth is, I was never as sure as them that I am the Desolation reborn. I was born to ashes, on a pyre, to a mother who dedicated her life to a cult that worshipped destruction for destruction’s sake. I was born to death. I have never felt as if I was more than the rest, simply separate. 

The followers of the Lightless Flame gave me to the Mother when I was eleven years old. I grew up as much in her stronghold as much as I did within the clutches of the Cult. I watched Raymond Fielding’s machinations for seven years, watched as he sacrificed child after child to the Mother and never bothered to stop him until the day I turned eighteen, when I decided to kill him and send the rest of the children in the home off. I stayed at that house for two more years, claiming Raymond left it for me, before I had the house destroyed, and left. Of course, I never expected the Mother to release me from her Web, I am no fool. 

I was born in 1954, you know. I am fifty-one years old, though I stopped aging the day I left that house. 

Gertrude, I do not believe you understand what you did to me when you bound us together. I understand that it wasn’t entirely your decision, that the Mother was the one who chose to tie us together, but it was you that did the ritual. It was you that lead to me seeking an escape from my destiny. 

A young man sought me out for a relationship recently. I accepted his proposition and went on several dates with him. I saw him for the last time yesterday and I left him with burns that are unlikely to ever fade. He was a kind man but throughout our dates, all I could think of was you and destiny. I have tried relationships twice now. With Jude and with Jack, but I believe you are the only one I have ever found myself even possibly loving—even without us having met. Is a Being like myself even capable of love? I simply don’t know. 

You may have noticed I mentioned earlier that I will die tomorrow. It’s the truth. I am going to lie to the Cult and I am going to tell them that someday I might be reborn. I must escape from my fate, I am not the incarnation of the Goddess that they want me to be. I am full of doubt and fury and now hope and even, perhaps, love. I am not what they need. What I am, is done with this all. I was created to be their Messiah, but instead I decree myself their Martyr. 

If soulmates exist, I suppose that is what you are to me, Gertrude. My other half, tied together by the red strings of fate—or rather, the silky threads of the Mother. It was you that provided me the willingness to finally escape from who I was created to be and for that, I thank you. 

**Gertrude**

_(She takes a deep, shuddering breath. If anything, she sounds more shaken then before she read the statement)._ Final comments: Agnes Montague has always been a player that I have not known what to do with. The Mother of Puppets manipulated me into tying us together and yet she and I have never met, not truly. I see no reason to lie, so I will admit that my emotions towards Agnes have not...always...been entirely negative. I found her endlessly fascinating and desperately craved for us to meet, though I always resisted the desire. That she gave me a statement, the day before she died, is...more than I ever expected. 

Agnes did die the next day. I looked it up, she was found hanging in her flat. It’s been a ruled a suicide, which I suppose it is. The boy she spoke of, Jack Barnabus was found heavily burned, but alive. He does not know it, but he is under my protection now. I won’t allow Jude Perry to cause him harm. 

**Author's Note:**

> feel more than welcome to leave a comment or come and yell at me abt gertrude, agnes, and tma femslash at [my tumblr](http://punkfistfights.tumblr.com/)


End file.
